Problem Members

THE GORDONS

 

It came to my attention at the Region I/II LDW that there is concern in Mensa about the situation with problem Mensans. The organization has been around for over 50 years, and although I cannot accurately vouch for years before the last 20, there have always been individuals who do not have the ability, as my wife, a member for the last 5 years, euphemistically describes, “to play well with others”. When I first joined m-grapevine, one of the major threads was concerning the book, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”, and the sentiments that were expressed were well founded, and surely they fit the topic at hand.

 

The ideal situation would be for all individuals to be able to deal with each other in a manner that would project mutual respect and understanding of the other’s wants and needs. We do not live in a simple world, and for Mensa, that is most definitely the situation. We are dealing with the most intelligent individuals on the planet, and as such, through their growth and development as individuals, they have acquired differing tastes, as well as different experiences. We should rejoice in these differences and strive to share them. This is indeed manifest in the programs that have been produced, whether it be a “coffee tasting” (SCAM RG), “Evening with Richard Stallman, the father of CopyLeft” (Boston Monthly meeting), ever popular Fishbowl and/or Chocolate Orgy. Some individuals might find these events not to their liking, or even have stronger opinions on them, but the point is to embrace and understand the differences.

 

That said, we need to go further to determine what should be done about problem members. In most cases, it is sufficient to discuss the individual’s behavior with them, or politely ignore them if necessary. Further, it is possible to refuse admittance to a private residence to an individual, or even file a complaint with the ombudsman at a local, regional, or national level. Should it come to necessity to utilize an ombudsman, then providing concise and accurate information, and allowing the other individual an opportunity to answer to the accusations is crucial. We have had the privilege to have some very able individuals as ombudsmen, both on the local and national level. Most situations can be solved effectively, safely, and sanely using this channel.

 

What should an individual or group of individuals NOT do. What should not be done, is to take matters into one’s own hands. This is only a formula for disaster. As an extreme example, we, here in MWM are in terror, not only of al Qaeda, but now of a lone sniper, whose actions have an entire metropolitan area, if not a nation, in fear for their lives. An individual must be heard, for if not, then we have such disasters. It is not wise to stifle a person’s recourse, nor to unilaterally effect vengeance on a member. Whether it be a simple prank or a act of violence, it will put Mensa under a bad light, and perhaps cause injury, or worse. We are the most intelligent individuals on the planet, and are recognized as such, therefore, we are judged and copied for what we do, and what new ideas that we institute. If individuals take matters into their own hands, then they cease to be acting as representatives of Mensans, but as individuals, divorced from Mensa, and not only face censure and/or expulsion, but also individual action taken outside of Mensa by the offended party.

 

Whether you are an attendee, group representative, or organizer of an event, you are a representative of Mensa, and are expected to act accordingly. Please do so. Utilization of Mensa resources and/or member resources to further an individual hidden agenda is not appropriate. If there is a problem, it would be wise to use the appropriate channels, and in that way we can enjoy those pleasures that Mensa affords us, without fear and without guilt. “Dance like no-one is watching”.